A little more info

I don't know much more, but they are flying Dave out and putting him up in a hotel. He will fly to Kansas City October 15th and then go to his screening on October 16th. Pretty much, if he isn't disqualified (and there isn't a very good chance of that happening, I really hope I'm wrong though) he will leave on the 16th with his re-activation orders.

I keep catching myself randomly crying, but I have to stop myself before it gets too bad because I don't want to bum Dave out anymore than he already is. I'm terrified. I thought I was done with this, I thought we were done with this, and I don't want to go through it again.

We've done it before, him being gone, but its different now. We are married first of all, we just bought a house, and I don't do well when I have to sleep by myself. My hair falls out (literally), I don't sleep but a few hours a night, I freak out over the smallest things, and I am never calm. I always feel like I just shot caffeine into my veins, like I'm jumping out of my skin because I'm always worried.

When he was gone the 2 times before, I still lived with my parents. That means that I wasn't home alone. But I can't go live at my parents if he leaves again, because we have a dog, and a yard, and things to do at my own house.

I'm just really scared that we'll have to go through this again, and I really don't want to. He doesn't either. I don't want him to have to do it again. It makes me sad for him.