For my 100th post, I wanted to say something very profound. Not just any old post....This is a big deal. Isn't It? Probably not...
But it doesn't matter any way, because there is currently nothing profound happening in my life. Nothing that all of you haven't heard before anyway.
Today me and D-bag (as he has so "lovingly" come to be known) are closing on the house. I don't want to go there, I don't want to see him, I don't want to sign the papers that mean my old life is officially over. Even though I haven't lived in our house since the first of November, it was still our house. That was still our life. And yes me and Dave are over, and I could never even begin to want to be back there, but it was still good while I was in it. I was still very happy while I was with him.
Kevin's sister is going through a pretty shitty time right now, and I was reading a post she put up either last night or this morning. She read through the book "He's just not that into You" and she made a little list of her favorite "statements" from the book. Now, I haven't read that book. I didn't see the movie because it came to theatres when I wasn't very emotionally stable and I didn't think having that term shoved in my face repeatedly would have helped...Anyway, there was one statement on her list that really stuck out at me.
There's a guy out there
who's going to be really
happy that you didn't get
back together with your
ex-boyfriend
In my case it's ex-husband, but you get the point....
It's okay that today is going to suck
It's okay that my old life is over
It's okay that Dave didn't realize what he had until it was too late.
Because all of this crappiness happened in my life, I was able to re-connect with a guy who I realize now I probably should have been with in the first place...Kevin.
But I try not to think like that...because even if I had known what he felt for me before I was even married, I don't think it would have mattered. I tell Kevin all the time that I wish he would have done something more to make me see how he felt and then we wouldn't have wasted 3+ years for absolutely no reason. But I know that I had to go through this with Dave and that Kevin had to go through what he went through with a different someone before we could get back to a place where we were both happy with each other.
The happiest either of us have ever been.
There is nothing more than that. Nothing more than feeling happy and feeling like its the right place to be. For both of us.
That is my profound post...nothing more than some profound feelings I've had for quite some time. That I'm happy in the place I'm at, and I'm happy with the guy I'm with, and that right now there is nothing I would change.
Who knew it was that simple?
But it doesn't matter any way, because there is currently nothing profound happening in my life. Nothing that all of you haven't heard before anyway.
Today me and D-bag (as he has so "lovingly" come to be known) are closing on the house. I don't want to go there, I don't want to see him, I don't want to sign the papers that mean my old life is officially over. Even though I haven't lived in our house since the first of November, it was still our house. That was still our life. And yes me and Dave are over, and I could never even begin to want to be back there, but it was still good while I was in it. I was still very happy while I was with him.
Kevin's sister is going through a pretty shitty time right now, and I was reading a post she put up either last night or this morning. She read through the book "He's just not that into You" and she made a little list of her favorite "statements" from the book. Now, I haven't read that book. I didn't see the movie because it came to theatres when I wasn't very emotionally stable and I didn't think having that term shoved in my face repeatedly would have helped...Anyway, there was one statement on her list that really stuck out at me.
There's a guy out there
who's going to be really
happy that you didn't get
back together with your
ex-boyfriend
In my case it's ex-husband, but you get the point....
It's okay that today is going to suck
It's okay that my old life is over
It's okay that Dave didn't realize what he had until it was too late.
Because all of this crappiness happened in my life, I was able to re-connect with a guy who I realize now I probably should have been with in the first place...Kevin.
But I try not to think like that...because even if I had known what he felt for me before I was even married, I don't think it would have mattered. I tell Kevin all the time that I wish he would have done something more to make me see how he felt and then we wouldn't have wasted 3+ years for absolutely no reason. But I know that I had to go through this with Dave and that Kevin had to go through what he went through with a different someone before we could get back to a place where we were both happy with each other.
The happiest either of us have ever been.
There is nothing more than that. Nothing more than feeling happy and feeling like its the right place to be. For both of us.
That is my profound post...nothing more than some profound feelings I've had for quite some time. That I'm happy in the place I'm at, and I'm happy with the guy I'm with, and that right now there is nothing I would change.
Who knew it was that simple?
2 comments:
I hope everything continues to go great for you and Kevin. At Least you found your way to each other. Stay strong while dealing with your ex. You are doing great!
Thank you Jennifer!
I appreciate that more than you can realize.
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